Well, I was reading this article by Scott Hanselman and what do I see:
Does it need an administrative console?, I ask. He says that'd be nice, but it wasn't spec'ed out. He figured this would be pretty low rent. The client even suggested (gasp) that they could just maintain a local XML file.
How on Earth can I be so stupid? I always knew that ASP.NET had this feature... it just never crossed my mind to use it. Dammit.